Nearly every Friday evening Will and Asher spend the night with us. Will and Asher are grandsons "number 2 and 4" who live nearby in Cannonsburg, KY and are the children of our younger son, Benji and his wife, Leigh Anne. Will is six years old, and has been spending the night with us off and on for about five years. His little brother (2 1/2) joined in on the tradition when he was about a year old. They seem to look forward to Friday nights at Mamaw and Papaw's house, and the arrangement offers benefit to every one involved.
The little guys, who live next door to their other grandparents (Lance and Linda Clanton) have an opportunity to get to spend a little time with us and get to know us as grandparents too. The usual "spoiling" activities of grandparents is something they both enjoy. The Friday night arrangement gives Benji and Leigh Anne a fairly regular "date night" or just some time alone to enjoy the quiet. Parents can use that from time to time! It also gives Linda and I the joy of getting to be with two of our grand kids on a fairly regular basis. It gives us opportunity to watch them grow, and get to know them better. Granted, we are both usually tired on Friday nights after a rough work week, and as a result, the attention, feeding, care, and entertaining of the little guys is not always an easy task. However, the ensuing Saturday mornings are truly a special time for us as we get to spend that quality time with the little guys before their parents come to pick them up around midday.
Friday nights with Will and Asher are somewhat of a bittersweet experience. As much as we treasure the time together with them, it always reminds us of out two other Grandsons (numbers 1 & 3) who are 900 miles away. Quint (age 7) and Canon (nearly 3) are also very special to us, but sadly, our opportunities to be with them are few and far between. Oh, how Linda and I would love to have them here close by. How we would love to have them here for the Friday night sleep overs! But it is just not meant to be - at least for now.
Five years ago this week, Jay and Michelle took Quint and moved to New Orleans. Jay had enrolled in New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and had taken the pastorate of First Baptist Church of Westwego. Looking back on that traumatic time after a half a decade, I can clearly see the hand of God in that move and all that has transpired since then. However, at the time of the move, Linda and I were crushed. "You are taking our grandson away. He won't know us and we won't be able to watch him grow up", I told Jay. His reply, which seemed pretty cold to me at the time was, "Lots of grandchildren live far away from their grandparents."
True. But that didn't make the transition any easier for us!
Quint has lived far away from us for more than half of his life and Canon was born in New Orleans. Linda was able to be there when he was born, but had to rush home when I was diagnosed with cancer and immediate surgery was required. The opportunities that we have to be with Quint and Canon are rare. It is a fact that we have grown accustomed to, but that has never made it any easier to deal with. We miss them. We miss going to Quint's school activities. We miss being with them on their birthdays. We miss watching them grow and doing all the regular things that kids do. We miss those priceless moments. It is comforting to know that Jay and his family are doing God's will and are serving His purpose in New Orleans, but we selfishly sometimes feel that we and their boys barely know each other. That's hard for a grandparent.
Linda and I had grown up in the 50's . Those were different times and it was a different world then. We had both grown up around our respective grandparents. In fact, over the years, all of her grandparents at one time or another had actually lived with her family. When my paternal grandmother died in 1955, my grandfather came to live with us for a couple of years. That's just the way things were in West Virginia and eastern Kentucky in those days. In fact, when my other grandfather died in 1968, Granny (who only lived an hour and a half away from us) came to live with my mom and dad and made her home with them until she passed away in 1996.
Furthermore, Jay and Benji had grown up in close proximity to both sets of their grandparents. Except for my time in the U.S Air Force (and that year and a half we were in Baton Rouge) when the boys were young, they were never far away from their grandparents. For a few years my mom and dad were just a mile or so away and after we moved to Ashland, they were only 20 minutes distant. Linda's folks lived about two hours down the road, but we kept U.S. Rts. 23 and 52 hot as we visited on many weekends and all of the holidays. When we weren't heading for Pike County, the old folks were often headed up this way. After his retirement, Linda's mom and dad moved much closer to us and were only about a half hour drive away. Both of our boys had the privilege of knowing their grandparents well and playing with most of their cousins on a regular basis.
Jay was correct. There are many grandparents who rarely get to see their out of town grandchildren. I have a number of friends and church members who are in the same situation. All we can do is make the best of the circumstances and treasure the times when we can be together. Our New Orleans kids get to come home maybe a couple of times a year. Since Linda and I are both working, it makes it difficult for us to go there often, but we have been blessed to make a few trips to see them. Every visit is special, but when it's over the tears always come. I don't know if that will ever change.
I'll be leaving on Monday morning for a few days in New Orleans. A year ago at the Southern Baptist Convention meeting in Greensboro, I was elected to a five year term on the Board of Trustees of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. Our Board meets twice per year at the seminary, in April and October. Unfortunately, due to her work and school schedule, it isn't possible for Linda to go with me to New Orleans each visit (although wives are welcome to attend). It's an honor to serve the convention in that capacity, but it is a special bonus to get to spend a few extra days with Quint and Canon. It's nice to see their mom and dad too, of course, but you must understand, Grandchildren are special!
Last night I was counting my blessings while spending time with Will and Asher. I listened to them say their bed time prayers and ask God to watch over their family. They named individually their parents, each grandparent and great grand parent, uncles and aunts and cousins. It was a special time. We are still looking forward to that first sleep over when all four boys get to stay at Mamaw and Papaw's house together. Maybe it will happen this fall. I hope so.
I told Will and Asher last night that I would be going to see Quint and Canon on Monday. Will said sadly, "I wish I could go with you to see them."
I wish he could too.
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