Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Pardon Me For Asking, but...

  • Whatever happened to etiquette?

  • If your wife is alone in the woods, and no one is there to hear her, is she still correct?

  • Could someone explain that part to me again about spending our way out of debt?

  • Why exactly is Paris Hilton a celebrity?

  • Is the church getting worldly or is the world getting churchy?

  • What part of "Thou shalt not..." do you not understand?

  • Why on earth does anyone ever become a proctologist?

  • Did it ever just occur to you that nothing ever just occurred to God?

  • Why is the prep for a colonoscopy worse than the procedure itself?

  • Did you ever notice that Don Knotts wore that same "salt and pepper" suit on the Andy Griffith Show, as well as several of his movies?

  • Why was Durward Kirby Garry's sidekick on the old Gary Moore Show? Furthermore, why did Garry Moore have a show in the first place?

  • Are Pastor's kids mean because they have to play with Deacon's kids?

  • Why do we sing "Where He Leads Me I Will Follow" with our lips, but model, "I Shall Not Be Moved" in our hearts?

  • Whatever happened to Randolph Scott?

  • Why is it our kids were little heathen, but the grand kids are so perfect?

  • Is anybody really listening between 11:20 and noon on Sunday? Is there any evidence?

  • Why is it that "sin" is what other people do, but we only have "shortcomings"?

  • How much wood COULD a Woodchuck, chuck?

  • Why are teachers paid so little, when they teach future professionals who are paid so well?

  • Do dogs understand what we are saying, or do they only recognize their names?

  • Do Iraqi dogs understand Arabic?

  • If Math is so logical, why do so many people have trouble with it?

  • What if they gave a war, and nobody came?

  • What are we supposed to do with our old analog TVs?

  • Why doesn't Barack Obama do something nice for his grandmother in Kenya?

  • When I was thinking that my fiance' was "Miss. Right", why didn't someone tell me that her first name was "Always"?

  • Does it bother you that what your doctor does is called "practicing"?

  • Why does God bless us so much when we are so undeserving?

  • When did men stop standing up when a lady walks into the room?

  • Have you noticed how many people no longer remove their caps during the National Anthem?

  • Why would some folks walk a mile out of their way to tell you a lie, rather than just look you in the eye and speak the truth?
  • Why do we hurt others, when we have no intention of doing so and don't realize we have?
  • When will we get our eyes off others and their faults, and focus on Jesus and our personal relationship with Him?

  • How will people ever react to the Gospel unless we share it with them?
Pardon me for asking...

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