bit’-ter-sweet, adjective- both bitter and sweet to the taste.
- both pleasant and painful or regretful
My 87 year old father lay heavily medicated in St. Mary’s
Medical Center in Huntington, WV. He
had begun his descent into the “valley of the shadow of death”. Now we knew that it would be only a matter
of days until he would slip away to his eternal home.
Like the psalmist, Dad had no fear of death because he knew
the Shepherd was with him. He also knew that he was going THROUGH the valley –
ultimately coming out on the other side.
Dad struggled to make us understand that he was lucid, even
though he was slipping in and out of consciousness throughout the
afternoon. He told us he wanted to go
to Heaven. He had read of that place
and preached about it for more than 65 years, and now he knew he was nearing
his crossing.
Not one to show a lot of public affection, Dad came from a
close family who preferred to show love through actions, rather than
words. Now on this Sunday afternoon as
his three sons (from West Virginia, Kentucky and Georgia) gathered by his
bedside, he told us he loved us and that he looked forward to seeing us in
Heaven. He groggily offered hugs to all
who came to visit that afternoon, and told each of them he wanted to see them
again in Heaven.
“I just wish Pat was here”, he said quietly, as a tear
rolled down his cheek, “but it would be too hard on her”. This hospital stay was the longest he had
ever been separated from his bride in 65 years of marriage.
Mom has been a resident of a local nursing home since just a
few days before Christmas of last year.
Although, in her late stages of Alzheimer’s Disease, Mom had adapted
well to her new surroundings. She has
been well fed and cared for there, but the past six months had been hard on
Dad. As his physical condition had
deteriorated, he still sought to be independent. Each day he would drive his Mercury to the nursing home and spend
time with Mom, helping feed her in the dining area, and sitting with her in her
room until she fell asleep.
Now as he knew his life was slipping away, and only a few
days away from their 65th wedding anniversary, Dad simply wished to
have his lifetime companion together with him and their three sons.
We began plans to try to make Dad’s wish come true.
We couldn’t work it out that evening. It was determined that
Dad would be transferred to the nearby Emogene Dolin Jones Hospice House. There
were delays in getting his release papers completed at the hospital, and the
transfer didn’t take place until after 10:00 PM. That was far too late to check Mom out of the nursing home, so we
determined to try to make it happen the next day.
Dad ceased to be able to communicate verbally that Sunday
night. One of the last things he told
my brother Bruce was “I sure love her”.
After arriving at Hospice and getting settled in, we decided
we would try to make Dad’s wish come true.
Late yesterday afternoon, Bruce was able to check Mom out
and bring her to the Hospice House where our family would be reunited for the
first time since July of last year.
Mom was confused, and didn’t comprehend the situation. Dad could not open his eyes, but she held
his hand and said “he needed a nap”.
For what must have been about an hour our family was together again for
one last time. We believe Dad knew she
was there. Although he was unable to
join in, we believe he was able to hear our voices as we laughed and spoke of many
happy times together.
My sister in law, Sandi, snapped one final family picture
just before we had to part for the last time.
It was the most bittersweet moment of my life.
Such a joy for all of us to be together once again.
Yet heart rending to know that this would be the last time
we would ever be together as a family in this life.
What a blessing to know that even though the circle will be
forever broken here, that the message is true that closed each of Dad’s radio
broadcasts for the past 35 years.
“Christians will NEVER see each other for the last time.”
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