Every Pastor's Bad Dream

"Pastor", the voice on the other end of the line says, "This is Bill down at the funeral home."

"Yes Bill, how are you?" the pastor asks.

"Fine sir. One of the members of your church has passed away, and the family has asked if you would be able to handle the funeral service on Thursday..."

The pastor is shocked. He has a number of sick members to whom he has been ministering lately, but none of them seemed to be near death. Perhaps it is one of the many homebound members - some of whom are in nursing homes and convalescent centers. Maybe there has been a terrible accident. Many thoughts run through his mind.

"Of course I will Bill. Who is it?" he asks.

"Gladys Hornbuckle", the Funeral Director says matter of factly.

"Gladys Who?", he thinks. The pastor doesn't ask it audibly, of course, but he is dumbfounded. Who in the world is Gladys Hornbuckle? He racks his brain, but to no avail. It's no one he seems to remember. There are a number of members of the church who would be classified as "inactive", but in his 10 years as pastor of the church, he has a general idea of whom most of them are. Some members are no longer residents of the community but have kept their membership at the old home church. Maybe Gladys was one of those, he muses. He only has a moment to consider the question.

"The family is here with me now, making the arrangements", says Bill. "The service will be as 2:00 PM on Thursday. What shall I tell them?"

"Sure, Bill. Tell them I will be happy to try to help." the pastor replies. "Please give me the name and phone number of whoever is making the arrangements, and I'll get in touch with them by this evening."

The pastor spends part of the afternoon researching Gladys Hornbuckle. He finds that she is on the "inactive member" list. Only one or two of the long time members he inquired of thought they might remember the late Mrs. Hornbuckle. One of the members of the Membership Committee remembered several telephone conversations with Gladys. That committee meets periodically trying to manage the information regarding MIA church members. Notes of that committee indicated that Gladys did still live in the community and had been contacted on several occasions, each time replying, "I know I need to get back in church. That's my church and I love it, but I just need to get back in the habit." The pastor allows for how he would like to have a dollar for every time he had heard similar comments over the years of his ministry.

Later that evening the pastor calls the cell phone number given to him by the Funeral Director. He speaks to the daughter of the deceased.

"Mother really loved that church", she says. The voice on the other end sounds seems genuinely convinced of Gladys' devotion to her church.

"Where did your mother live", the pastor asks.

"About a mile from the church" is her answer.

"Was she homebound?"

"No".

Confused, he continues. "Had she been ill for some time?"

"No" the daughter says, "She's really been in pretty good health for someone her age. This was just a sudden stroke that took her."

The pastor expresses his sympathy for her loss, but struggles to try to learn more about the situation. "I don't think I have ever met your mother. Had she been attending another church?"

"No. She really loved your church. She was baptized there forty two years ago. She took us to Sunday School there when we were little kids. We wanted to have the funeral service at the church because she really did love that place, but I think it would have cost extra to have it there - having to use the hearse for an extra trip and all."

"When was the last time your mother was here?" he asked.

"I'm not really sure."

"How about you?"

"Oh, it's been a while since I was there", the daughter says. "My favorite member was Mr. Wayne. He's really a great Sunday School Teacher. How is he?"

"Well, Brother Wayne passed away about five years ago" the pastor replies.

"Oh".

"Do you attend church regularly somewhere?" he continues.

"No. We work so we really don't have much time for that."

The pastor sighs, "I see". He's had this conversation before, so he seeks to find out more about the deceased.

"When might I come by and talk to you about your mother?" he asks. I would like to have more information if I am going to do her funeral service.

"Well, what do you need to know? It's all in the obituary."

"Is there any particular scripture reference that she may have considered her favorite?"

"No", comes the reply. "I think she kind of liked the Psalms. Probably something from Psalms."

"Do you have any plans for any particular music during the service?"

"Don't you all have someone who can do that?", comes the incredulous reply.

"Well, we do have some musicians and vocalists, but if you wanted one of them, it would help if you had some particular information about favorite songs, etc."

"What would that cost?"

"I'm sure most of them would not have any set charge for doing music at a funeral service, but most of them might have to take time off from work to do so."

"Well, the funeral home told us we could have recorded music."

"That's true. That particular funeral home has an organist, or they can offer a number of beautiful recorded hymns. Did your mother have any favorites?"

"Well", says the daughter, "I thought I might have Vince Gill's 'Go Rest High On That Mountain', Nat King Cole's 'Unforgettable', or 'I Did It My Way' by Old Blue Eyes - she really liked that one."

"I'll bet she did" the pastor says to himself.

The conversation continues, but I will spare you further details...

Every pastor has had a similar conversation. Some of us who have been around a long time have had several of them. After 37 years in the ministry I am still amazed at the number of people who identify with a particular local church, but never darken the door. They say how much it means to them and how they love the people, but it has been so long since they have attended, most of the congregation doesn't even know who they are.

Now, there are legitimate reasons for some members to be missing. Genuine health problems can keep some away. Some are bedfast and genuine shut ins, but how many times have we heard the health excuse, yet regularly see the "sick folks" at the grocery store, beauty shop, or going to the local bingo game? More times than some might imagine!

Eventually, that final appointment comes, and the family is left to plan the funeral service, and a conversation like the one above ensues. Sometimes these situations remind me of a little verse on a card my Dad use to carry in his Bible. It bore a photo of a hearse in front of a church building and the text read:

Every time I pass the church,

I stop to pay a visit.

Else someday when I'm carried there-

The Lord may say, "Who is it?"

"...not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching." - Hebrews 10: 25 (NKJV)