Have A Laugh

Since I am not feeling terribly creative today, I thought I would share a couple of funnies with you that friends have recently sent to me. I have actually seen both lists before, and some of you may have as well, but they are funny (IMHO) and bear repeating again.

Hopefully you'll get a chuckle from them too.

Cathy Howerton sent me the first one:
A 1st grade school teacher had 26 students in her class.
She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are 6 year olds, because the last one is a classic.

1. Don’t change horses… until they stop running.
2. Strike while the… bug is close.
3. It’s always darkest before… Daylight Savings Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of… termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but… how?
6. Don’t bite the hand that… looks dirty.
7. No news is… impossible
8. A miss is as good as a… Mr.
9. You can’t teach an old dog new… Math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll… stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust… me.
12. The pen is mightier than the… pigs.
13. An idle mind is… the best way to relax.
14. Where there’s smoke there’s… pollution.
15. Happy the bride who… gets all those presents.
16. A penny saved is … not much.
17. Two’s company three’s… the Musketeers.
18. Don’t put off till tomorrow what… you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and…you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as… Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not… spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don’t succeed… get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you… see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind lead the blind… get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand is… going to poop on you.
26. Better late than... pregnant!

The second list came from Randy Spurgeon. Sick twisted freak that I am, I may actually try some of these some time:

To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point aHair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

4. Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten OverTheir Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'.

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

8. Don t use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat...use a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds AllDay.

15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their PartyBecause You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling,'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going ToHave To Let One Of You Go.'