They were the typical American family when I first met them. I had just been called to serve the church as pastor, and was going through all the new pastor activities – trying to learn names, put them with the proper faces, etc. The Bakers (not their real names) were living the American dream. The handsome husband, Dan, was starting his own business. Terry, the pretty young wife, worked in a doctor’s office and her world revolved around their two children, Ross, 12, who was artistic and musically talented, and Jennie, 11, who was beautiful, outgoing, athletic, and very popular at school.
I liked the Bakers very much. What wasn’t to like? They were part of a large extended family that was heavily involved in the church. On the surface, they were the kind of family that every pastor would like to have making up his congregation. On the surface, they seemed to have everything going for them. Everything except one trait that was missing from their spiritual lives that quickly became evident as I grew to know them. Something called faithfulness. Now, please understand that I am not talking about rule keeping and being there every time the door opened. I am speaking of a love for the Master that is reflected in all that one does. A devotion to Christ that sets Him above all priorities of life. A devotion that shows in how we offer him our time, talents, and treasures.
When the kids were younger, Dan and Terry were very active in the church. They attended regularly and were always involved in the planning and work of Vacation Bible School. Dan often drove the bus and Terry was even the volunteer director of the new Children’s Church ministry. But gradually it all began to change. Somewhere along the line, and it’s hard to say exactly where, the Baker’s priorities seemed to change. Dan began to give up a few of his jobs around the church. Occupied with his business, you understand. Soon his attendance at worship services began to lag. As leader of the family, the influence of his example was soon seen in the life of Terry. After all, she was very busy with being a working mother, and the kids’ needs had to come first. My questions began to arise about the “needs” of the kids.
Terry seemed to think that Ross and Jennie needed to be involved in everything that was available. Youth sports, cheerleading, dance class, music lessons, school activities, etc. became an all consuming force in their lives. Now don’t get me wrong. I find nothing wrong with any of these activities. Our kids were also involved in many of these things as well. I believe that God wants us to bring up well rounded children who are fit, body, mind, and spirit. Linda and I always encouraged our boys to follow their interests and to be involved in those activities. I have done my time as coach, band parent, league officer, etc, but we always impressed on our children that these things, while important, are never as important as our relationship with the God who loves us and gave His Son to purchase us forgiveness and eternal life. The Bakers didn’t seem to get it.
I counseled with Dan and Terry a number of times. I visited with them in their home (when I could catch them there) and tried to impress upon them the importance of first having a right relationship with God and setting our priorities in order after that. They said they were a little too busy, but they would still let the kids come to youth group. Soon, Ross and Jennie’s involvement in the church youth group began to fade away as well. Terry explained to me that they were just so involved in their other activities they were just too busy for church, and after all, it was important that Ross and Jennie be popular and actively involved in these other activities. The implication was that their spiritual lives just weren’t that important.
The last four years of my ministry in that church involved many times of being called to the Baker home to deal with problems that were arising in the lives of the family members. Jennie had an older boyfriend who became a real worry to Dan and Terry. Ross began to have problems in school and had even had a couple of brushes with the law. Each time, I was assured by Terry and Dan that they would get back in church when they had more time… that time just never seemed to materialize. The problem was not so much that they were not in church. That was just a symptom of the problem. That problem was that they were not where they should be spiritually, with God. They were just too busy for Him.
A number of months ago, I ran into Terry at a hospital where I was visiting an old friend and former church member. I didn’t recognize her until she spoke to me. We talked a few minutes, and I asked about the family. The story was sad. She and Dan were having problems. His business had failed and he was drinking heavily. Ross had been in and out of jail a number of times. Jennie’s life had also taken some unpleasant turns that I will not go into here. How did all this come about?
This had been the “perfect” family. Now they were perfectly miserable. They didn’t see it coming, but the law of sowing and reaping had once again proven true. Now I know that many of you are reading this article and saying, “It couldn’t happen to us!” I want you to know that it happened to the Bakers, it has happened to others, and indeed it CAN happen to us, if our priorities are not right. If business, people, activities, and things are more important to you than your personal relationship with God, and the long term spiritual welfare of your family, consider what Jesus said:“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matthew 6: 33)
No comments:
Post a Comment