Our Final Time Together As A Family

bit’-ter-sweet, adjective

1. both bitter and sweet to the taste.
2. both pleasant and painful or regretful

My 87 year old father lay heavily medicated in St. Mary’s Medical Center in Huntington, WV.  He had begun his descent into the “valley of the shadow of death”.  Now we knew that it would be only a matter of days until he would slip away to his eternal home.

Like the psalmist, Dad had no fear of death because he knew the Shepherd was with him. He also knew that he was going THROUGH the valley – ultimately coming out on the other side.

Dad struggled to make us understand that he was lucid, even though he was slipping in and out of consciousness throughout the afternoon.  He told us he wanted to go to Heaven.  He had read of that place and preached about it for more than 65 years, and now he knew he was nearing his crossing.

Not one to show a lot of public affection, Dad came from a close family who preferred to show love through actions, rather than words.  Now on this Sunday afternoon as his three sons (from West Virginia, Kentucky and Georgia) gathered by his bedside, he told us he loved us and that he looked forward to seeing us in Heaven.  He groggily offered hugs to all who came to visit that afternoon, and told each of them he wanted to see them again in Heaven.

“I just wish Pat was here”, he said quietly, as a tear rolled down his cheek, “but it would be too hard on her”.  This hospital stay was the longest he had ever been separated from his bride in 65 years of marriage.

Mom has been a resident of a local nursing home since just a few days before Christmas of last year.  Although, in her late stages of Alzheimer’s Disease, Mom had adapted well to her new surroundings.  She has been well fed and cared for there, but the past six months had been hard on Dad.  As his physical condition had deteriorated, he still sought to be independent.  Each day he would drive his Mercury to the nursing home and spend time with Mom, helping feed her in the dining area, and sitting with her in her room until she fell asleep.

Now as he knew his life was slipping away, and only a few days away from their 65^th wedding anniversary, Dad simply wished to have his lifetime companion together with him and their three sons.

We began plans to try to make Dad’s wish come true.

We couldn’t work it out that evening. It was determined that Dad would be transferred to the nearby Emogene Dolin Jones Hospice House. There were delays in getting his release papers completed at the hospital, and the transfer didn’t take place until after 10:00 PM.  That was far too late to check Mom out of the nursing home, so we determined to try to make it happen the next day.

Dad ceased to be able to communicate verbally that Sunday night.  One of the last things he told my brother Bruce was “I sure love her”.

After arriving at Hospice and getting settled in, we decided we would try to make Dad’s wish come true.

Late yesterday afternoon, Bruce was able to check Mom out and bring her to the Hospice House where our family would be reunited for the first time since July of last year.

Mom was confused, and didn’t comprehend the situation.  Dad could not open his eyes, but she held his hand and said “he needed a nap”.  For what must have been about an hour our family was together again for one last time.  We believe Dad knew she was there.  Although he was unable to join in, we believe he was able to hear our voices as we laughed and spoke of many happy times together.

My sister in law, Sandi, snapped one final family picture just before we had to part for the last time.

It was the most bittersweet moment of my life.

Such a joy for all of us to be together once again.

Yet heart rending to know that this would be the last time we would ever be together as a family in this life.

What a blessing to know that even though the circle will be forever broken here, that the message is true that closed each of Dad’s radio broadcasts for the past 35 years.  “Christians will NEVER see each other for the last time.” 

As the Month of May Approaches...

I cannot read Proverbs 31 without thinking of my precious mother.  Verses 26-30 could just as well have been written specifically about my Mom.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

The month of May not only brings May Flowers, but it also brings the Mother’s Day holiday (originated by the way, here in West Virginia), but also the 85^th birthday of my mother, Patsy Ruth Stidham Adkins.  This year, for the first time, we will be recognizing those two special days in the Alzheimer’s Unit of the Huntington Health and Rehabilitation Center. As happens with many other milestones in life, since December 22^nd of last year, things will never again be the same in our family.

 

My mother was a wonderful example of a Christian woman and the ultimate minister’s wife.  All the characteristics of the “virtuous woman” of Proverbs 31 were present in her life, but these few verses pretty well sum up the impact she made in this life.

I could write volumes on the things of eternal value I have learned from my mother, but let me just use the words of “King Lemuel” to say it succinctly and powerfully.

Mom doesn’t know that Mother’s Day is coming up soon.  She doesn’t know her birthday follows shortly afterward.  Furthermore, although she can name the names of her three sons, she rarely recognizes us, and cannot comprehend who we are when we tell her. She does, however, think she is in church most of the time.  She travels about the 4^th floor greeting nurses, aides, and fellow patients with a handshake, or a kiss on the cheek, and a hearty “God bless you!”

Several years ago, shortly after being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, Mom went through the natural stages.  First she was in denial.  Eventually she fell into depression and worried about what the eventual outcome would be.  With tears in her eyes she told us, “I’m afraid I won’t know who my family members are.”  My brother, Bruce, told her, “Maybe so, Mom, but we’ll know who YOU are and we’ll still love you like we always have.”

 
She’s now at that place in life that she had feared.  And so are we. 

Much has changed since she cared for us as little ones, but this fact remains.  “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.’”

We love you Mom.

Big Changes Coming In California

The congregations who make up the Southern Baptist Convention own and operate six seminaries.  Three of them (The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY; Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, in Wake Forest, NC; and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, in Fort Worth, TX) are distinctly within what we would call the Bible Belt.  Even Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, in Kansas City, MO is well within "traditional" Baptist territory. 

Two of the SBC Seminaries (New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary) are located in coastal communities, with their main campuses located in areas that are decidedly NOT traditional bastions of the Baptist faith.  Although NOBTS is obviously in the southern United States, anyone who is familiar with South Louisiana can testify to the dense Roman Catholic population and the Roman Catholic Church's powerful influence in that state from its formative past through the present day.  After all, Louisiana is the only state in the Union with Parishes instead of Counties!

Golden Gate Seminary is located out on the "left coast" with it's main campus at Mill Valley CA, (San Francisco bay area) and extension centers in Brea CA, Scottsdale AZ, Vancouver WA, and Centennial CO. Not exactly hotbeds of Baptist heritage. Like NOBTS, Golden Gate's funding through the SBC Cooperative Program is somewhat less than the other four seminaries due to the fact that the formula for that funding is based primarily on the number of on campus students.  Much of these two seminaries student bodies are spread across their various extension centers.  I have always viewed these two seminaries as being located in real American mission fields.

It was announced yesterday that Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary is selling their Mill Valley campus and relocating the main campus to the Los Angeles area in Southern California. Some might view this as a questionable move, since one of the most prestigious seminaries in America (BIOLA) is already located in that area.  Others see this move as a wise choice, due to various challenges that have faced the Trustees and administration of GGBTS.  All would agree that this is a MAJOR change an is a tremendous step of faith.  Dr. Jeff Iorg, President of GGBTS made the announcement public yesterday.

I am blessed to be serving in my second term as a Trustee of NOBTS.  I can only imagine the prayer and discussions that preceded the GGBTS Trustees in making this monumental decision. Dr. Chuck Kelley, President of NOBTS sent us each an email yesterday telling us about the upcoming change at Golden Gate and suggested that we share the information with our congregations and other SBC churches in our states.  Dr. Kelley, who understands many of the challenges facing Dr. Iorg, obviously thinks this is a wise move.  Here is the text of Dr. Kelley's email:

“Today Dr. Jeff Iorg, President of Golden Gate Theological Seminary, announced the signing of a purchase agreement to sell the property of Golden Gate. The final act of sale is not expected before July. The seminary will continue to have campuses in Northern and Southern California, but in different locations to be announced later. The seminary will remain in its present location for two years while necessary arrangements are made. It is a brilliant tactical move that will allow Golden Gate to continue its ministry to Baptists in the West from a much stronger position. The Providence of God is on brilliant display in the conclusion of so complex a sale. We congratulate Dr. Iorg for his visionary leadership in finding a way to secure and enhance the California heritage of Golden Gate for many years to come. This will always be remembered as one of the greatest days in the history of Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary.” - Dr. Chuck Kelley, President, New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary

Later yesterday afternoon Baptist Press released an article going into detail on the major change coming at Golden Gate.  If you do not subscribe to Baptist Press, you can read that article by clicking on this link.

Big changes have already come to all of our SBC Seminaries in particular and to theological education in general. Online courses have been around for a long time.  Now major accrediting agencies are approving the granting of degrees totally delivered online.  The times are changing, and Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary is making a major change.

The leaders of GGBTS obviously feel that this is the direction of God for them.  This pastor prays for great success in this move, for the sake of the Kingdom of God.  As that great philosopher, Dorothy, once said to her little dog, Toto, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!"  Well folks, we're not.  There are few Baptists who relish change.  I personally abhor change just for the sake of change.  However, when it comes to methods, locations, ideas, and principles concerning the work of the Kingdom we truly serve - we'd better be listening to the Holy Spirit, and be ready to be obedient, even if it means making some BIG changes!

 

A Sad Commentary On Baptist Life

Someone once asked veteran Kentucky pastor, Chuck Stewart, "Brother Stewart, what would you be if you weren't a Baptist?"
The old preacher answered, "Why, I'd be Ashamed!"

It's a funny story, and I've used the joke several times.

However, there are times when I honestly have to say that sometimes I am ashamed of us Baptists.

Now understand it has nothing to do with Baptist doctrine and the Baptist's high view of scripture.  And certainly not the time honored view of he autonomy of the local church.  Baptists believe that there is no organization on earth higher than the local church.  However, we also believe that we can accomplish Christ's Great Commission more effectively when we voluntarily associate together with other like minded congregations for the purpose of taking the Gospel to every people group on the planet.

What I am ashamed of, is unfortunately, that sometimes in the local church, or the local association, or in the state convention, or even on the national level, there will always be those who seek to consolidate power.  A desire for power and authority sadly is part of the fallen human condition, and unfortunately it can rear its ugly head at every level of the work.

I'm ashamed of the politics, dirty tricks, good old boy networks, threats, shunning, and the drive to stifle anyone who has the audacity to question actions of those who seek to consolidate power.
Such is the case now in the Louisiana Baptist Convention.

Before I go any further in this blog, let me offer this caveat.  I am not a Louisiana Baptist, but I am a Baptist.  Southern Baptist to be exact.  I do have numerous friends who ARE Louisiana Baptists, and a son who serves as pastor of a Southern Baptist Church in Louisiana.  Providence has placed him in the middle of a controversy that is brewing among the brethren in the Bayou State.  It started with the actions of the President of Louisiana  College (a Baptist institution in Pineville, LA) but now reaches into the office of the Executive Director of the Louisiana Baptist Convention.  It is a story of ineptitude, mismanagement, personal vendetta, cover up and possible criminal misdeeds.  But it grows from that to a story of power, protection, conflict of interest, undue influence, and threats used to stifle the voices of those who in their fiduciary responsibilities as Board Members who would have the temerity to ask questions regarding ethics.

You see, in Baptist life, we have had the wisdom to build the Board of Trustee system into our various state and national Convention entities.  I personally have the privilege to serve on the Board of Trustees of one of our SBC Seminaries.  The Trustee system is designed to give oversight of the various convention entities into the hands of the local churches.  Ideally power is then decentralized and spread to those whose tithes and offerings (or a portion thereof) go to support these various entities.  However, in Louisiana, the power of the Board, whose members represent the many Baptists in that beautiful state, has fallen into the hands of one very powerful person and a few supporters.

The frustration level has reached the place that a third of the Board Members have written an "Open Letter to Louisiana Baptists From Concerned Trustees".  You can read that letter here.
Another caveat, my son, Jay, Pastor of First Baptist Church of Westwego, LA is a member of that Board of Trustees. He has written in depth in his blog about the history of the situation at Louisiana College, and he has even attempted to bring the situation regarding the undue influence of the State Executive Director to the floor of the Louisiana Baptist Convention's annual meeting last year, and run into a dead end there as well. For those who are interested, his blog contains a lot of background information in earlier posts.

This battle has been going on since 2012.  Smoke screens and straw men have been put forward to confuse the issue.  Jay, and the other minority members of the Board have worked hard behind the scenes to try to do what's right.  He hasn't spoken to secular media until this week.  He hasn't released any confidential information from Board Executive Sessions.  His first allegiance is to his family, his flock, and his own Ph.D. work in seminary, but the thing has come to a head in Pineville. He is a Trustee and he has to do what he feels is his fiduciary duty to the Baptists of Louisiana who put him on that Board.

While these things are issues that must be dealt with, it is sad how much time and energy we Baptists must expend to try to right wrongs among us when the Mission is to reach a lost world.  It's happened before, this time it just happens to be in Louisiana.

Pray for Louisiana Baptists. For everyone involved!

We've Passed A Milestone

Now, I know it's small potatoes compared to a lot of blogs, but earlier this week, this humble site "For What It's Worth" received it's 100,000th visitor.

I just want to say thank you to those who have visited, left comments, shared posts, or walked away shaking their heads.  Thank you for stopping by for a visit.

My blogging has slacked way off over the past year or so, but it is nice to know that there are folks who visit do the site from time to time.  All viewers are appreciated!

Don't Miss This Event!

The congregation of Westmoreland Baptist Church and visitors will have a wonderful and rare opportunity on Friday, April 4^th at 6:30 PM in the multipurpose building.

Those who are present that evening will be taking part in one of the oldest and most meaningful rituals in the Bible – the Passover Seder

The Seder is a ritual performed by the Jewish people, involving a retelling of the story of the liberation of the Israelites from slavery in ancient Egypt. This story is in the Book of Exodus (Shemot) in theHebrew Bible. The Seder itself is based on the Biblical verse 

commanding Jews to retell the story of the Exodus from Egypt: "You shall tell your child on that day, saying, 'It is because of what the LORD did for me when I came out of Egypt.'" (Exodus 13:8) 

This is the very Passover meal that Jesus and His disciples shared at their “Last Supper” the night that Jesus was arrested. Iis full of symbolism, both to the descendants of Abraham and those of us who know Jesus Christ as our Savior.  Christ and His sacrifice for our sins is pictured in the Passover Meal.

Mr. Steve Ilchishin, a Messianic Jew from Chosen People Ministries, will be with us to lead us in a special time of worship, learning, and fellowship as we observe the Passover Seder Meal, and reflect on its meaning for us in this Easter season. The Seder is much more than the unleavened bread and fruit of the vine that we use for communion.  You will be blessed and touched by God’s grace as we go through the meal with explanation from one who’s ancient ancestors were there for it’s inception.

There is no charge for the meal, but we will be receiving a love offering at the end for Mr. Ilchishin.  Everyone is welcome, but we MUST have an idea how many to prepare for.  Please RSVP the church office no later than Monday, March 31^st , or turn in a reservation sheet in the Sunday morning service on March 30^th.

This will be an interesting event for adults and children alike. Don’t miss out on this special blessing!  RSVP to 304-429-1348.  If it is after regular office hours just leave your name and how many will be in your party for the Seder.

Thinking Outside The Cultural Box

In 1 Corinthians chapter 9 the Apostle Paul defends his Apostolic authority, yet at the same time he models the heart of a servant.  Even though he has been called by God into this very important work, he shows himself to be willing to humble himself and to be flexible in his methods. In this passage Paul speaks of Christian liberty as well as Christian responsibility.

 

It is easy for Christians sometimes to be heavy handed in our “spirituality”.  In our geographical church culture we seem to feel that we have a handle on how we should worship.  We often look down on, and are critical of others who “do church” differently than we do.  We also often have the idea that lost people should see things the way we do, and we go about our worship, our ministry activities, and our witnessing using jargon, rituals and “code words” that are familiar to our “church culture” but absolutely foreign to those we claim we want to reach for Christ.

 

I grew up here in the Bible Belt, the son of a Baptist preacher. Dad was a bivocational evangelist who also often served as pastor to small churches.  Growing up we “did church” a certain way in the churches where Dad pastored or held revival meetings.  We prided ourselves on not having a “printed program”, yet every service was the same basic ritual.  There might have been some old hymns like Amazing Grace, The Old Rugged Cross and Rock Of Ages, but most of the  music was primarily Southern Gospel “quartet style” music.  There was usually a piano accompaniment and in some churches an organ may have been involved.  There might be soloist or trios or quartets who would use a guitar.

 

Prayer was something that was done a certain way.  We always had a “Family Prayer” time in the service where everyone would shake hands with one another and gather around the altar for what is often called choral prayer (everyone praying out loud at the same time).  If a person was called upon to lead a prayer individually he might stand at his seat, or even kneel in the aisle or come to the altar to pray.

 

There was always a time for testimonies.  Messages were usually topical and fiery.  Not a lot of scriptural exposition, very little doctrinal teaching, and usually filled with a strong evangelistic thrust followed by an emotional invitation or “altar call”. Legalism was pretty common although we were always talking about the Grace of God.

 

It went without saying that those who were members of our churches were expected to fit a certain mold.  There was not a lot of cultural diversity among us, and as a result, those whom we sought to reach with the Gospel, looked, acted, and fit into the same basic culture to which we belonged.

 

It wasn’t until I went away to Bible College that I learned that many Christians worshipped and looked a little differently than us.  Later, through becoming familiar with missionaries and making short term mission trips, myself, I learned that there are Christ Followers in other places and cultures who look, act and worship very much differently than we did.

 

Eventually the little light bulb came on over my head that “our way” is not the only way, nor is it necessarily the right way.  It is simply part of the culture that has slipped into churches in our geographical region over the years.  By the same token, methods that we have long used to reach out to lost people are not the only methods, nor are they always the right methods to reach people in a changing culture.

 

Paul says some pretty radical things here in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, that I think would be wise for us to consider as we ponder how best to take the Gospel to the world around us.

 

“For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law.  To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.  I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.

 

Paul made an intentional decision to think outside the box in the methods he used to share the Gospel.  The message never changes my friends, but the methods MUST be flexible.

 

We know that it is impossible for us to do EVERY ministry we would like to do, but it is very important that we be open to new manners of worship, new ways of doing ministry, new ways of getting the Gospel out and doing missions.  NEVER changing or watering down the MESSAGE, but looking for different ways to reach those who may not look or act just like us, and those who live outside our culture and customs.

 

Our success in fulfilling our role in the Great Commission depends largely on whether we will hold to our local customs and methods as the “only way” or if we are willing to think and act outside the cultural and customary box in reaching and discipling lost people for the Kingdom’s sake.

 

What do you think?